I’m a 40-Year-Old Woman. Here’s Why I Still Play Video Games.

I’m a lifelong gamer so that’s nearly 40 years of experience playing video games. Even though I have a brother and friends to play with, most of my gaming has been a solitary experience. I’ve always gravitated towards single-player role-playing games (RPG) with epic stories that take ~50-100 hours to complete.

There was one video game that I had wanted to play for years but I kept holding off because it was an MMORPG (massively multiplayer online role-playing game): Final Fantasy XIV. Even though I’ve played every mainline Final Fantasy game, I had zero interest in playing an MMO where I would have to interact with other players. Especially in my late 30s, the last thing I wanted to do while gaming was talk to other players. Or worse, be told what to do or how I should be playing my game.

But in 2022, I was in a serious gaming drought. I could not find a game that would scratch the itch I had. My brother kept telling me that “the critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV has a free trial” and has arguably the best story in the series, so I finally gave it a try. Two months later, I beat Endwalker, the most recent expansion at the time. Turns out that even though FFXIV is an MMO, the requirement to play with other people in order to get through the main story is very minimal.

I ended up loving the game, the story, and the characters so much that I started a YouTube channel, HeatherJustPlay, to share my love for FFXIV and video games. A community formed the same way many YouTube communities do and I eventually started a Discord server for HeatherJustPlay (HJP) to keep the conversation going in between streams and videos.

I’ve been a YouTube creator since 2016 and at one point, I was even a YouTube coach. Yet, I had never been a part of an online community like HJP. When so much of the internet was feeling divisive, performative, and manufactured, the HJP community felt genuine, real, and fun. No one was trying to promote their content or build a brand or compete for my attention. We were just a bunch of adult nerds from all over the world, united through our love of video games.

What if I leaned into that?

So I came up with Operation Rising Tide, an initiative to shift HeatherJustPlay from a streamer-to-audience dynamic to a member-driven community where every member’s voice mattered. Instead of being centered around my content as a creator, every member could coordinate events around whatever they wanted for the whole community to enjoy.

In addition to playing FFXIV together, we started branching out to other video games and nerdy hobbies. Members hosted events like an in-game fashion show, a workshop to help players customize their user interface, video game story discussions similar to book clubs, and trivia nights. We even branched out to other creative outlets, like when YouTube Creator Tom Buck hosted a workshop on how to start a podcast.

Tom Buck, creator of a YouTube channel around audio, video, and creative technology, hosted a workshop about podcasting. Operation Rising Tide was an initiative where every member was invited to create an event around their interests, passions, or expertise.

Operation Rising Tide allowed a creativity to flourish that I had not anticipated. For example, Rebecca, better known as Maple in our community, decided to host an event where members could complete FFXIV’s sightseeing log, a scavenger hunt built into the game where players track down hidden scenic viewpoints. To make it more fun, she ended up writing 62 original riddles and getting prizes for the winners.

HJP members exploring the world of Final Fantasy XIV during one of Maple’s sightseeing log events, a community scavenger hunt she designed herself, riddles and all.

Rebecca said, “Seeing everyone put their heads together to figure out the clues made me very happy… Operation Rising Tide was about coming together as a community, and even though I was super new to HJP when I ran the event, I already felt like I was a part of it.”

HJP was becoming something truly unique that I had never seen before and it was powerful enough to have a life-changing impact on many of our members, all from the comfort of their own home. We had people ages 20-74, from all walks of life, coming together to feel a sense of belonging, camaraderie, inspiration, creativity, and fun. Things that matter, things that translate from in-game to real life. Several HJP members were stepping out of their comfort zone to try something new. Some people were leading an event for the very first time in their lives. I was seeing the power of “play” in action - something we’re told that we’re supposed to grow out of as adults. And it genuinely felt like magic IRL (in real life).

What started out as a hobby for me became my purpose. This felt like something bigger than me and I wanted to see this grow. The obvious next step for a community like this is monetizing members. But that didn’t feel right to me. I didn’t want to gatekeep this experience behind a paywall but I knew we needed money to grow.

So in April 2025, I began the process of transforming the HJP community into a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization with the mission of fostering personal growth, meaningful connection, and a sense of belonging through video games, collaborative play, and digital creativity. And our tagline? Personal Growth Through Play. I truly believe that the impact we’re making is worthy enough to be a nonprofit organization.

One of our beloved members in HJP is Karen, or as we call her, “G-ma.” She’s a 74 year old mother, grandmother, recently great-grandmother, and of course, a gamer. She discovered the HJP community like so many of our members do, on YouTube, and she’s been a member for over a year. Even though she has played video games for many years, HJP provided a fresh, unique experience that inspired her IRL. Here’s her sharing her story.

Me and G-ma (Karen) sharing a laugh during a livestream on the HeatherJustPlay YouTube channel. Two gamers, decades apart, brought together by a love of video games.

“Before I met the HJP organization, I played video games and they were always solo games. It’s the only thing that gave me any excitement in life because otherwise I just felt old, tired, and useless. Kind of like I didn’t have a purpose. It didn’t feel good and I lived a lot in the past.

One day, I was looking for a YouTube video so that I could try to fine-tune my battle skills in Final Fantasy XIV because I’m not that great at playing video games. And there it was. ‘HJP: come and play.’

And then a few days later, I was notified that HJP was going live. So I had to go. I had to be there. I went and I was smiling the whole time. It was just a breath of fresh air. I got into the chat and that’s where it all began.

I met the most amazing group of people. They were so positive. They were so helpful. And not only did they help me navigate things in the game, they inspired me. They inspired me to do something I haven’t done in over 40 years.

I’m writing again.

I used to write children’s fairy tales, for my own children and my kindergarten class I taught, but I stopped. Because I was inspired by HJP, I decided, ‘I’m going to rewrite those stories.’ I’m rewriting them in the hope that they get to be read by children and parents everywhere.

That’s what HJP did for me. It gave me purpose again, to help me find my way not just in the game but in life. They’re exceptional people with amazing positivity that I was missing. But I have it now. And I can truly say that this is a wonderful journey I’m on now - a great adventure, all because of HJP.”

Through HJP, I’ve been able to spend countless hours playing games with members, including Maple and G-ma. We’ve gotten to know each other and made many unforgettable memories. Even though I would consider both of them my friends, we’ve yet to meet in person. In G-ma’s case, we’re several states apart and Maple is in another country. But the interaction we’ve been able to have through HJP feels just as real as it would in-person.

I think this is why I’m playing video games more than I did when I was younger.

The internet, new media tools like Discord, and the types of games being created today have completely changed what gaming can be.

It doesn’t have to just be “sweaty” gaming that focuses on skill level, competition between players, or killing enemies. There used to be a “right” way to win a video game, but not anymore.

And it’s not just about saving the princess either. Storytelling in video games can rival that in literature and film.

Also, nowadays, many video games have a low barrier to entry in terms of skillset. Regardless of age or experience, there are several options you can pick up and enjoy, even if it’s your first game ever.

HJP members posing for a group picture in the lobby of Peak, a cooperative, mountain climbing simulation game.

Video games may have started out as a hobby that catered mostly to young boys. But I really do believe that there’s a new type of gaming that can be a significantly enriching activity, hobby, and outlet for many adults, whether you’ve played them before or not.

With tools like YouTube, Discord, and Instagram, I’ve been able to connect with some of the most amazing people I have ever met, people I would not have crossed paths with otherwise. We have parents, business owners, artists, people with disabilities, and people you wouldn’t typically associate as gamers like G-ma, from several countries and states across the US, all coming together to just… play.

Why is “play” considered irresponsible as an adult?

HJP members getting ready to lock in for the next quota in Lethal Company, a cooperative survival horror game.

I’ve been comparing the HJP experience to a “digital escape room.” Playing games with HJP is a relatively low stakes activity and that’s what makes things like cooperation, trial and error, problem solving, and creativity so accessible. It’s easy to experience a sense of wonder, adventure, and discovery in HJP. On the surface, it looks like we’re a bunch of friends hanging out in Discord voice chat and playing games together. But I think that’s a huge reason why these relatively simple hangouts can be so meaningful.

We’re doing things for the simple reason that it’s fun. Not because it will make money or build an audience or help you fix something about yourself. It’s just fun. “Play” shouldn’t be something we age out of. If anything, I think it’s crucial to our well-being as adults.

HJP members on a YouTube livestream celebrating the 1 year anniversary of our Discord.

HJP has proven that digital interaction doesn’t have to feel empty. It took work to build this kind of non-toxic community of mature adults, but it’s possible, even in today’s loud social media world that feels increasingly fake, especially with the rise of AI-generated content. I’m excited for HJP to be either an option or an example for other adults looking for something new and different.

For HJP, video games have allowed many of us to forge genuine friendships, despite our interaction being digital. That’s why I still play video games and why I think you should too.